DEAR DEIDRE: SINCE we moved to a new area, one of our neighbours has been getting over-friendly with my husband – and he’s too nice to tell her where to go.
She keeps inviting herself round to visit and talks to him for hours.
I’m 45 and my husband is 48. This lady is a widow and in her sixties.
It began shortly after we moved into the street last summer.
We were keen to make friends and invited all the neighbours round for a barbecue.
This lady made a beeline for my husband and was very tactile with him.
As he works from home, while she’s retired and lives alone, she’d make excuses to pop over – bringing cakes or home-made jam, or asking to borrow cooking dishes.
She now comes round at least two or three times a week. She starts chatting then won’t leave.
She’s not bothered about seeing me. She says hello but it’s my husband she wants to see.
I’m getting fed up but she ignores my hints.
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My husband says she’s annoying but harmless. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.
How do I make her leave him alone without being rude?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like she is lonely and perhaps does not pick up on social cues well.
You might be feeling a little insecure and jealous, as well as fed up with this woman.
Tell your husband how you feel. Explain that his kindness encourages her overfamiliarity.
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My support pack on Standing Up For Yourself should help.
Perhaps you could suggest that next time she comes around uninvited, he explains he’s very busy – but you would like to invite her for tea on another day.
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